The Loss of a Loved One: Grief vs. Depression
Hello, musers! I'm pleased to bring you this guest post by Jackie Waters. Enjoy!
Your life's companion is gone; it’s like a part of you is missing. There is so much weight on your heart, and you have every right to mourn in your own way. Your grief is your grief. You may feel confused about how to take charge of your life without this person by your side. When someone you have loved and spent your life with is gone, it’s only natural to feel lost and confused. Grief is the path to moving through your feelings and is a pivotal part of the healing process. Sometimes, however, the grief is so intense that you may begin to feel a deeper, longer depression in your heart and your mind.
Seniors dealing with grief from the loss of a spouse can feel intense moments of sadness, but that doesn’t necessarily constitute depression. That’s why it’s so important to understand the difference between grief and depression. Symptoms of grief include:
- Difficulty concentrating
- Pangs of longing for your deceased loved one
- Anger or guilt that your loved one left you behind
- Lack of energy and bouts of lethargy
- Loss of independence
- Fear of new responsibilities
- Loss of appetite
- Trouble sleeping
- Uncontrollable crying, both in private and public
- Difficulty making decisions
There’s no manual for grief. Everyone mourns the sorrow of loss differently and moves through the healing process at their own pace. Sometimes seniors dealing with the death of a spouse experience symptoms much like depression, such as isolation, withdrawal from social activities and deep, and painful feelings of sadness. However, there are several important distinctions that clue you in to the difference between depression and grief.
- Symptom duration. When it comes to grief and depression, there is a difference between the length of time that people deal with feelings of sadness. Seniors dealing with depression feel this aching sadness frequently, and likely have dealt with it long before their spouse passed away. Those dealing with grief often feel times of depression, but also fluctuate between various other emotions like anger, guilt, cheerfulness, anxiety and numbness.
- Levels of social activity. Seniors with depression will isolate themselves, especially during particularly low periods. Sometimes they avoid, or even shun, family and friends. They may withdraw entirely from even their closest friends. When someone is grieving, they may not want to be around large groups or out in public, but will accept intimate invitations from those they are close and comfortable with. They may also only spend brief periods of time engaged in social functions, leaving early or staying on the fringes.
- Continue daily functions. When a senior is grieving, they may take some time off to themselves, but can still make trips to the grocery store, post office, or work. They may be infrequent or short tips at first, but the main point is that they still make an effort. They may feel anxious about going out, but sometimes look forward to how these activities can occupy their time and mind. Seniors who are clinically depressed, may not be able to perform their daily tasks. They experience symptoms so severe that they miss work or responsibilities. They may even have difficulty with self care, such as showering or eating.
Seniors are at serious risk for depression, especially those who are have recently lost a spouse. Studies show that seniors tend to resist getting help because they don't want to be a burden on their families. Some see depression as a weakness or grieving the loss of a spouse as a sign of death. For these reasons and more - keeping in mind that, for some, depression can lead to other very serious issues such as addiction or suicide - seniors are at risk of developing further complications. It’s so important that seniors dealing with the loss of a spouse reach out for support. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength.
Are you or a loved one struggling with depression or complicated grief after the loss of a loved one? Music therapy may be helpful to you. Please contact me at 417-569-7144 today to set up a free consultation.
