Yesterday, I noticed my legs seemed more toned and I was way more comfortable in my favorite pair of jeans. That really has nothing much to do with this post, but more about that in a minute.
I have mentioned before how much I loved Brain Rules by John Medina. It's one of those books I keep picking up, and every time I do, it enriches some part of my personal life, my professional life, or the intersection of the two. (Have I mentioned that I am practicing piano better and faster than before with the help these rules?)
Just a few pages into this book and I'd had enough of a nudge to start running regularly again and to recruit my sweetheart to join me. Check this out:
"Just about every mental test possible was tried. No matter how it was measured, the answer was consistently yes: A lifetime of exercise can result in a sometimes astonishing elevation in cognitive performance, compared with those who are sedentary. Exercisers outperform couch potatoes in tests that measure long-term memory, reasoning, attention, problem-solving, even so-called fluid intelligence tasks...Essentially, exercise improves a whole host of abilities prized in the classroom and at work." (Brain Rules, page 14)
An astonishing elevation in cognitive performance? Yes, please! That kind of self-care was the push I needed to start running this time around. I have had an on-again, off-again relationship with running. I think this time it will stick, though. Why? Because this time around, my motives are different.
In the past, running was about being smaller. It was about weight and size and jiggle-reduction and not much else.
My loved ones cannot afford for me to be preoccupied with being smaller. My patients, their families, my co-workers, and everyone else cannot afford for me to bring a version of me that is in any way focused on shrinking. I run for so many reasons now, and a sharper mind is just one of them.
I run to show myself I am fully capable of suiting up and showing up, to get in touch with that inner voice who says, "I can," find her, and turn up her volume, to build my bravery and my self-compassion one step at a time so when I need it, I can confidently call upon that part of myself who must have hard conversations with families facing a death. I run to get bigger in heart, in strength, in confidence, in nurturing self-care, and yes, in improved oxygenation to my brain cells and sharper thinking. But never again simply to be smaller.
So when I glanced in the mirror yesterday and saw some changes, I could think, "Well, cool. But that's not important." How absolutely liberating. I will choose today to grow, but not to be smaller.
PS: If you want to learn some of the best neuroscience out there for taking care of a human brain, you can get a copy of Brain Rules here. I promise this will help you be a better therapist and human being!
